Tuesday, December 28, 2021

The Return of the Teddy Bear Wars


The festivities begin with the traditional toast with Diet Coke

Yesterday, on Boxing Day, Der Alte Fritz and Lady Emma Cuddlestone-Smythe (a nom du plume) convened at the dining room table to fight the sixth game of our sort of annual Teddy Bear Wars. We have been playing Teddy Bear war games going back to 2007 and Lady Emma is undefeated, so far, at 5 wins and 0 losses.

This year's game is aptly called "The Massacre at Bear Hollow" because You Know Who was virtually wiped out to a bear by Lady Emma's army of Brown Bears. Thus her record is not 6-0. I assure you that I did not let her win the game this time. Sound tactics and superb dice rolling led to Lady Emma's victory.

This is becoming a bit of an annual thing. I am doing worse than the Chicago Bears football team, and that's hard to do these days.

Our tale starts with the Brown Bears (in pink uniforms) and the Black Bears (in light blue uniforms) reacting to news that a huge load of chocolate coins have been deposited in the local bank: The First National Bank of Bear Hollow. Both sides were tasked with marching to the bank and "withdrawing" chocolate coins from the bank before the other side could get them.

The Bears are armed with cork pop guns so I can report that no Bears were hurt during the course of this game. If a Bear were hit, then it rolled a saving roll and needed a "6" to stay in the game. The corks in the pop guns merely put the target Bear to sleep for awhile.

Lady Cuddlestone-Smythe is eager and ready to defend her championship title.

Der Alte Fritz doesn't look like he is ready for his afternoon nap.
This could be a problem.

A view of the Bank and its deposits of gold chocolate coins.

Lady Emma's troops enter the table in road column.

My Blue Army marches smartly onto the village commons in two columns.

My Blue Bears change formation from column into line, showing their fine training and expertise.
The Bank is on the right flank of the Blue Army so they have the early advantage with their control of the Bank.

Lady Emma orders her Pink Army to double time into the village
 so that they can occupy the  Inn and take cover.

The Pink Army Bears fortify the Inn and draw a bead on the advancing Blue Bears.

The two sides deploy into line formation before they close into pop gun range.

Who will draw the first card and gain the first fire at close range?
The Blue Bears start loading gold coins onto wagons so that they can bring the sweets back to their camp.
The advantage appears to be in the Blue Bears' favor.

Was the initiative ever in doubt? The Pink Bears draw first blood as 9 Blue Bears are pegged.

Finger pistols at short range

The Pink Bears fire off a second volley before the Blue Bears can fully recover from the first round of shooting.

Well that wasn't supposed to happen. Der Alte Fritz looks concerned
after watching the devastating effects of the Pink Bears' pop guns.

Lady Emma shows no mercy as her lads give the Blue Bears a face full of cork at short range.

The Blue Bears' losses are too great. They begin to fall back out of pop gun range.
The Pink Bears capture the Bank along with the Blue Bears' fully loaded wagon of gold coins.

The Pink Bears capture the Blue Bear wagon

The Pink Bears press their advantage and chase after the Blue Bears.

Lady Emma's army drives away with a wagon train full of gold chocolate coins.

V is for Victory and Lady Emma Cuddlestone-Smythe continues her winning streak over Der Alte Fritz.

So once again, Lady Emma is the winner of the Teddy Bear War Game. I must state that I did not let her win. She did it all on her own by combining skillful strategy (occupying the fortified Inn) and deadly pop gun fire. Early in the game it looked like the Blue Bears were going to have an easy time of it as they captured the Bank, but once the firing began, the Pink Bears mowed down the Blue Bears and turned it into a massacre of the Blues, alas.


  1. Congratulations to the Good Lady Emma on her comprehensive victory, Great looking game and best of all it looked like loads of fun, cant' beat that.

  2. A splendid looking and sounding game old chap…
    It’s nice to know that I am not alone in getting a regular Boxing Day beating from an offspring…😁.

    All the best. Aly

  3. Jim;
    I guess you'll just have to grin and...bear it...



  4. Very enjoyable report, Jim! Adds context to the photos on FB. Lelia is decorously restrained in her victory celebrations! I do love these figures...are they the Teddy Bear figures that used to be marketed by Eureka Miniatures? And the chocolate gold coin idea is one I will "borrow" for games with my great nephews! Cheers, Rohan.

    1. Yes, these are the Eureka Teddy Bears. I understand that Nic sold this range to a private collector and said individual will not sell them to the public. I can’t understand how anyone could do something like this. Does he take joy in denying a product to other people? Does he feel great because he is the only person who can have the bears all to himself?

  5. I remember seeing those bears on the Eureka site - shame they are no longer available to buy. Looks like you had a fun game with them - Lady Emma is obviously an inspiring leader for the Pink Bears!

  6. What a pity that at the time I did not buy Teddy Bear SYW. Because now I could play with my daughter.
    Do you know if we can still get it?

  7. What a pity that at the time I did not buy Teddy Bear SYW. Because now I could play with my daughter.
    Do you know if we can still get it?