Sunday, December 16, 2018

The 12 Worst Songs of Christmas

Don't mess with Chips the Wonder Cat by playing any of the songs on the list.

It is Selection Sunday, that time of year again when I release my annual list of the 12 worst Christmas songs that we all hear over and over again on the one radio station that plays Christmas songs. This year we have a Selection Committee comprised of Mrs. Fritz, the Princess Fritz and me, the Original Fritz.

We have some big changes in the list, compared to last year, with a couple of songs making the list for the first time. In this #MeToo era I had to add a newcomer to the list: Baby It's Cold Outside. You know what I'm talkin' about. See the You Tube version of the song from the movie - YIKES! The committee added another newbie when we heard this song on the radio just this very morning - "All I Want for Chistmas is a Hippopotumus."

A few of the songs on the list moved down in the ranking. I added last year's rank after the song. It's not that they are any less objectionable to me or the selection committee, but there are others that annoyed us worse.

So with further ado, let's look at the horrible 2018 Twelve Daze of Christmas song list.

1.  Dominick the Donkey (3)

2.  I Want a Hippopotumus for Christmas (new)

3.  Last Christmas - by Wham! (1)

4.  All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey (2)

5.  Baby It's Cold Outside (new)

6.  Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt (4)

7.  Jingle Bell Rock - various artists (6)

8.  Rocking Around the Christmas Tree (8)

9.  Have a Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives (7)

10. Frosty the Snow Man - Jimmy Durante  (10)

11. Christmas (Baby Come Home) - Mariah Carey (9)

12. Santa Lost a Ho (5)

Dishonorable Mention
*  I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - Michael Jackson (11)
*  So This Is Christmas - John Lennon
*  Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Day - Paul McCartney (12)
*  I don't know the name of the song but it's a group sing that sounds sort of like "We Are the Children"


  1. There is only one Christmas song that I immediately mute when it’s played on the radio: Blue Christmas by Elvis. The constant yowling of his backup singers is like nails scraping on a blackboard to my ears.

    1. Another song that I forgot about, but maybe it should be in the Dishonorable Mention list.

  2. Yup!
    I agree with you...
    I always feel sorry for people working in retail over the Xmas period... where we my only hear a snippet of a jolly Yule tune before we head out of range. These poor souls have had it since November...

    All the best. Aly

    1. Our thoughts and prayers go to all of the retail workers.

  3. Ha! I thought of you when hearing Last Christmas by Wham the other day. Or was it Simply Having a wonderful Christmas Time? Oh, and the last one in your 'Dishonorable Mentions' section is entitled, We Are the World, one more of those mid-80s ensemble recordings that were all the rage for a couple of years when absolutely everyone, it seems, decided to make a profound political statement. Not sure how this particular tune came to be associated with Christmastime though.

    Best Regards,


    1. Google indicates that the song title is "Do They Know It's Christmas" produced as an ensemble by David Geffen. Harry Belafonte heard the song wanted to do a similar song to raise money for Haiti relief.

  4. Jim, at least you are getting to hear some songs 'related' to Christmas. In the UK it seems that the regulars are being removed from the playlists and being replaced by crappy rap? Clearly it must upset our beloved snowflakes to hear about baby Jesus and those awful snowmen.

    1. Most larger metro areas have one radio station that dumps its regular programming and goes "all Christmas 24 hours" from early November through Christmas Day. On Boxing Day, no more Christmas music and regular programming returns.

  5. Not sure what you have against Burl Ive's "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas." And are you actually a fan of the dogs barking "Jingle Bells." We have a local station that goes on Christmas Music 24 hrs a day and that used to be a staple on their playlist.

    1. I don't mind Burl Ives, per say, but it is played over and over to the point of annoyance. I like the Michael Buble version of the song.

      I forgot about the barking dogs Jingle Bells song, but the committee didn't want two versions of the same song on the list. Fortunately the dogs aren't played too often. I also should add Alvin & The Chipmunks to the Dishonorable Mention list.

  6. That's a good list Jim, although I challenge anyone to name a GOOD Christmas Song!

    1. I will be doing a Top 12 Best Songs list in a couple more days. 😄